Israel --- A blessed opportunity

I know I'm a missionary and all, but I am not what you would call an adventurous person. I don't have too many opportunities to travel with others and it just doesn't seem as much fun alone.  Besides, I have always liked the familiar over taking risks. That said, I agreed  to meet up with my mom in Israel, in November, on her bucket list, 80th year of life, trip she had waited a lifetime to take.

It was such a perfect and blessed trip, beyond every expectation. 

So, now that the Christmas parties are done and I have some free time, here is a flashback to November's wonderful trip.

It was great to spend time with my mom (it had been 16 months since we were last together.)

First, let me say that the food was amazing! I never loved eating so many different kinds of vegetables and so little dairy.

It was interesting to learn more about "kosher" beyond "no pork". There is no dairy served at the same meal as meat. So breakfast has no meat but lots of different cheeses and dinner has no cream sauces, milk for coffee or ice cream made from cream (it is made from soy). It was all delicious and wonderful though!!!!

It was the same, just very different!

From the first night (Tel Aviv) of putting my feet in the Mediterranean Sea...... I was in love with the small country of Israel!

I have an album on FaceBook with over 400 pictures but here is just a short visual recap of a few of the highlights. (Maybe not so short since we saw so much!)

This is Caesarea, beautiful and one of the many marvels of ingenuity of King Herod.

This is the city Peter came to to meet Cornelius. Peter started in the picture above (outside Tel Aviv) and would have traveled a day and a half to see Cornelius. (And I always thought they were only a couple of miles apart.)

This is Mt. Carmel where Elijah, after killing all the prophets of Baal, had the servant look toward the Mediterranean sea for a cloud the size of a fist to end the drought. This would have been the servant's view. 

Tel Megido (Armegeddon) is a strategic location where many cities have been built including the city with the spring coming under the walls and one of Solomon's palaces. Tel means of mound of layers. Many places in Israel have Tel in their name. They are layers of history. Cities built upon cities. Below is a stone trough or manger from Solomon's stables which is thought to be like the one baby Jesus might have slept in.

Another stop was Nazareth and a synagogue where Jesus is thought to have announced that He was the one the scriptures spoke of.

Did you know that Sept. 2014 to Sept. 2015 is the year of Shimitah? (I didn't) Every 7th year the land was to lay fallow and rest. At the end of the year, all financial debts and accounts were released. The slate was wiped clean, paving the way for a fresh start. Many orthodox in Israel still honor the biblical rule today. That is why most of the fields we passed had not been planted.

A sunset and sunrise by the Sea of Galilee! We stayed for 2 nights in a Kibbutz right on the shore.

We listened to scripture on the hillside of the Mount of Beatitudes.

We visited Caperneum, and sailed across the Sea of Galilee and ate fresh fish for lunch.

 

One of the special moments was being baptized in the Jordan River. And yes it is a real river with little fishy nibbling at your toes!

Another fun experience was meeting "Abraham". In true Bedouin style he invited us into his tent and fed us dried fruit and STRONG sweet coffee and then let us ride one of his camels!

Entering Jerusalem was a memorable experience. We listened to a beautiful praise song about Jerusalem as we ascended the final miles up to Jerusalem. From Mount Scopus we repeated a Jewish prayer, read Psalm 121 (one of the the psalms of ascent), were blessed by our Jewish guide Abraham (his real name not a character) and toasted "L'chaim"(to life).

I think the greatest highlight for me though, was arriving into Jerusalem as the Sabbath was starting and getting to walk down to the Western Wall as they worshiped God in songs, dance and prayers!!!

Outside of Jerusalem, back down towards the Dead Sea we went to one of Herod's other magnificent structures, his winter palace at Masada. It was a testimony of his ingenuity where he built a water system that channeled the 2 inches of rain a year into storage area that provided water supply year round in this high mountain desert mansion. It was later the place of the last heroic stand of Elazar Ben Yair and 960 Jews against the Romans in 73 CE. A fascinating place and heart wrenching as we read aloud the last part of  Elazar's final speech before he and his Jewish comrades took their own lives the night before the Romans took over the encampment, to show that they would rather die than be enslaved and tortured.

Another fun highlight of the trip was getting to swim in the Dead Sea. 

You can see it in the distant in the Masada photo above.

So much fun as long as you don't swallow the water or get it in your eyes!!! And the mud mask left your skin feeling soft like you had gone to the salon!

A defining moment for me on the trip was the contrast of the atmosphere when we visited the Temple Mount (Muslim occupied) and the home of their central Mosque the Dome of the Rock verses the Israel occupied Western Wall. On Temple Mount, they yelled in Arabic (nothing bad just about Ala is God) whenever a Jew was in the area but it was in such a harsh way that it is the one time I wanted to take cover. Anyone looking like they might be praying or having a "quiet time" were escorted out. Christian jewelry or apparel was not allowed. The tension permeated the air.

In contrast, when we then went down to the Western Wall, I felt peace and freedom. All could come and pray. It didn't matter that I believed Jesus was the Messiah. It surprised me how different, almost tangible, the atmosphere of the two areas which are right next to each other, are.

(Both do have major security to enter and the Temple Mount, I am told, is sometimes closed to non Muslims)

On Temple Mount there is a view of the East Gate. This is the gate the Messiah will enter when He returns to Jerusalem. It is sealed with concrete and the Muslims have a cemetery on the outside of the gate. I'm told it to defile the entrance so the Messiah will not be able pass through the dead and enter. Our Jewish guide, who was knowledgeable and passionate about all the sites we visited, made the comment as he excitedly spoke of when the Messiah will enter Jerusalem. He said "When He comes through that gate, I want to ask Him if He has been here before." 

A time of prayer and putting written prayers in the clefts of the Western Wall was an unforgettable experience. There are people present 24/7. It was a special moment to see a handicapped child carefully writing out his prayers. Note: Women can pray at the Western Wall but in a separate section than the men.

A sobering and touching time was visiting the Holocaust Museum. The memorial gardens and monuments and the massive museum is overwhelming. You really need to just take a whole day and still never absorb it all.

We saw and experienced so much more but let me close this long picture blog with Gethsemane, the home of Caiaphas and the Garden Tomb. A fitting conclusion to our journey of Israel. Please note the view of the Eastern Gate from Gethsemane. Also the path by Caiaphas house would have been the actual stones Jesus walked on when He entered Jerusalem for the Last Supper and when He departed for Gethsemane and when the soldiers brought Him to Caiaphas. 

We took time at the Garden to have communion. The actual site of Jesus' crucifixion and burial is not known but this is a reasonable possibility but it is not important. 

He is not there. He is risen!

Our guide, Abraham, made the tour so meaningful. It was not just his knowledge but his passion and love of Israel. As a Christian, I am convicted about my lack of commitment to pray for peace in Israel. Shalom has become a word I now hold deep in my heart as well as a love for the Holy Land.

P.S. I will admit that my non adventurous self did have one place on my bucket list. It was to visit the white and blue hillsides of Santorini Greece. And we did!! I got to spend 48 hours there. 

It was as beautiful as all the pictures you see in the Greek restaurants (and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2)!

A

 I just might have to start taking a few adventures and risks in the future.

SHALOM!

I'm Moving Back to the U.S.

It's About Time!.... My Newsletter

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I'm Back

I apologize for not blogging in a long time. I've been what Casting Crown's song calls a "slow fade". I had been caught up in the lies of the enemy and becoming emotionally isolated, a pitfall of being a single missionary (or of being single in general). I had no one close enough to recognize the spiral I was in and call me out on it. But God is good; He sustained me through my life giving church and an awesome group of ladies in my home cell group who loved and welcomed me when I felt unlovable and also by staying physically active in a local gym. He didn't let me go even when I didn't realize I was floundering. And then, just a couple of weeks ago God shined a light that pierced the darkness I hadn't even comprehended the depths of. When the light fades slowly, you just don't realize how dark it has gotten until it is suddenly lit back up.

But I'm back!!! Praise the Lord! God did a miracle and brought me to a place of realizing my pain, seeking help and receiving it,  and communicating in a healthy way the hurt that had wounded me... and all in about a 24 hour period. He restored my sense of balance. Where I was unable to make a decision anymore, He brought clarity. Where I was believing the lies of insecurity, He gave me confidence. If you are in a slow fade. I pray you can see the lies of the enemy and attack it and recognize His love, peace, clarity and healing! Feel free to message me or someone else and talk it through. It helps!

Since that moment of epiphany, I have moved to  Badplaas which is Afrikaans for "place of much thunder" but it's Siswati name Emanzana which means "healing waters" (how appropriate) is the name it is changing to. (Like most of South Africa cities and towns are transitioning to the Siswati and Zulu names.) Emanzana is the community where I was commuting over an hour from Nelspruit to do ministry. I am working full time with Emoyeni "Em-oh-yen-knee" South Africa http://www.emoyenisa.com/ (GABRIEL ministry will develop as God sees fit down the road. It is a vision He has given me and He will put the pieces together when the time is right.) I have handed over the financial book keeping I was doing for Emoyeni to a volunteer who has much more accounting skills than I do. What a blessing!!! I am now working with the feeding sites more intimately. I'm working at putting systems in place to make a strong foundation so we can build on and minister better to the children Emoyeni feeds. I am excited for the future in my heart now and not just in my head. I hope you will think about coming out to visit. I would love a hug and to show you around.

Here are our current feeding sites at the AFM church, Izithandani "Is-ee-tawn-dawn-knee" school and Mooiplaas "Moo-ee-plaws" church. Thank you for your prayers. They were and are my life line.

   

What Does A Bow and Arrow Have To Do With It?

It has now been over 7 months into starting the new direction of my journey as a missionary in Africa. Internally my mind is saying I should have my feet firmly planted and a clear vision of the road ahead. In January a friend spoke a prophetic word that God is pulling back the bow and I am the arrow. So why don't I even know more than vaguely where the target is that He has me to hit? (GABRIEL ministries will work with the orphan and vulnerable children in connection with the social services system in the Badplaas area.) I have visited with Social Services, with pastors and been in prayer and it is not coming together like I would have liked.

That doesn't mean God isn't using me. On the contrary I am using my gifts and talents to serve with the ministry Emoyeni, under the leadership of Darryl and Janine Mather-Pike. I am pleased to be helping them with their bookkeeping and now with the administrative logistics of all their feeding sites & preschools affiliated with Children's Cup. (Kind of blending both ministries into a smoothly running partnership that ultimately benefits the children in the Badplaas and outlying areas.)

But, something is missing. I can feel it but the frustrating part is I haven't been able to put my finger on it. And then I read today's devotion from Angus Buchan "Now Is The Time". Today's was titled "Patient Faith". Let me share part of it with you. The reference is in Colossians 1:1-14 but this is what hit me between the eyes.

"Oswald Chambers says you and I are like a bow and arrow. The bow has to be fully stretched before the arrow can be released. Maybe you are at the place where you feel that you cannot take much more. You feel as if you are going to snap. No, you are not going to snap because God is not going to allow you to. The reason He is stretching you is because He wants the arrow to hit the mark. Maybe you don't know where you are going or what you should do; but He does. He has the bow and arrow in His hands and He is directing it toward His target. He is telling you to be patient, to hang on. Of course, when the Lord lets the arrow go it hits the target spot on; and the patience of faith is rewarded." 

The prayer at the end says "My Father, I realize that patience is one of the most difficult virtues to cultivate. It goes against my normal inclinations. Yet, I also realize that once again it comes down to knowledge of You, because if I know You I will trust You; if I trust You I will have patience. Amen."

I don't know where most of you are in your journey, but I know I have more stretching to do. I can sense that I am not aimed at the "spot on" mark yet. I have been having the nudging the last couple of weeks that God is about to ask me to be willing to do what I would not have imagined even just a few months ago. That sense is not well defined yet. It is a little like last year when I sensed there was about to be a BIG change in my life and there was. I didn't realize what it was until it happened and maybe that is true now also. As much as I am enjoying what I am currently doing, I know something is missing. The pieces are not all in place yet. I am not stretched enough to give the arrow the proper lift and direction to get where it needs to go. I needed to write this, as always, to help me clarify and solidify MY faith. To talk it out. (I don't have much opportunity to do it in person.) I am on the right path. And as I wait, I will stretch until He knows I am prepared for what lies ahead and I will do it patiently. I trust Him and am confident that even though I have more unanswered questions than answered ones, He has it all figured out and it will beyond the beyond of what I can imagine.

Thank you for journeying with me. Thank you for praying with me and for me through this. Thank you for supporting me when it looks like there is not much to show for it. I am not who I was 7 years ago. I am more secure in my faith. I am more comfortable in being loved by a Father who gave His Son for my eternity. I am more okay with my failures because He has worked so many of my weakest moments to His glory. I am more forgiving and less likely to take offense, even if it was meant for harm. I am okay to be submissive to Him and the authorities He puts me under me because I know He is in control. None of this is catching Him by surprise. And I am glad to testify of His faithfulness. I have not been to the states or actively fund raised since my transition began because He has given me a peace that as long as He has work for me here, He will provide what I need by sending supporters or showing me how to cut costs. I testify today that He has been faithful. My monthly support is not what I need to live on but every time I question if it is enough, one large or several small, irregular donations show up or He provides another way to handle an expense. (Like my vehicle repair was covered by a warranty and my tune up didn't need the brakes replaced like they thought.) God is good, all the time! So how can I doubt that even though I thought I should be more planted and directed by now, God knows better! He isn't done molding me and stretching my bow for what lies ahead. I pray that if things aren't the way you think they should be in your life that you too can trust that God's hand is securely holding your arrow as He stretches your bow, and that this knowledge gives you patience for this season of waiting. He has great plans ahead if we just submit to the stretching and patiently wait until it is our time to be released to hit the mark He has intended "spot on"! 

The Bare Truth

It seems I keep repeating that I am on a journey, but that is the only word that keeps coming to mind when looking at 2014. Being on my own on the mission field has been and is tough. I feel I make forward steps and rabbit trails and even go backwards.  I thought my identity was rooted in Christ and it is but….. Recently we had a team who had a devotional on “our identity” and I realized I was having trouble with no longer being a “Cup” missionary.  As a Children’s Cup missionary for 6 years, I knew what the parameters were; I knew how things worked; I knew the goals. Now I have the opportunity to be a “Christ” missionary. I’m not saying that Cup missionaries aren’t Christ centered, but I’m now saying my parameters, the way things work and the goals are directed by Christ alone in my current situation and that causes me hesitation. I want to hear Him clearly. In living alone, you have the opportunity for lots of “quiet” time. Great you say, but for a rational, problem solving thinker, sometimes it is hard to separate my wants (which can be rationalized so quickly) from His desires. Or sometimes I just second guess myself way too much. So, if my ministry seems to be confusing or changing, it is probably because it is. 

The parts I know for sure is that:

1) I am to work with a focus on children and God has renewed my old vision for GABRIEL: Girls And Boys Receiving Instruction, Encouragement & Love.

2)  I am to work with orphaned and abandoned children through the government foster care system

3)  I am to minister in South Africa and at this point feel led to start in Badplaas area.

4)   I am to start with support training and encouragement for families in the rural areas who have a heart for caring for children that are not their own. As we get our feet “wet” I’m sure God will show us what works well and what doesn’t and whether a village setting is needed or not.

Now I lay bare the areas I have confusion and I ask you to pray for the following points right now and any time God brings me to mind.

1)    Should I pursue a trust? I have gotten responses from only one that I have asked to consider being over the trust.

2)    I have been been approached to officially join Emoyeni who I have been helping out with all year. They would allow me to do GABRIEL ministry under their organizational umbrella. I felt a “No” when earlier this year I thought of joining them or another ministry but at that time I was thinking GABRIEL would be more a village type setting instead of a support for those staying in their own communities. I don’t know if God was saying “No” at that time because my focus was wrong or if the “No” was truly because I am to be out on my own. On the surface, the work Emoyeni and I both do will be the same whether I am under or alongside of them, volunteering to help in areas they need. So why does it matter? I’m not sure, but in my gut I need God’s specific blessing on it. To me it is the difference between a commitment and a covenant. It is the difference between being a neighbor or becoming family.

3)    The other BIG mental and physical challenge to this ministry is working with the government. Just like in the states, sometimes the bureaucracy and political games become the focus and not the heart and the welfare of the child. I have a meeting (finally) with the head of the Carolina office and the person over Foster Care for the Badplaas area. My phone calls have been frustrating and lacking in positive communication. Please pray for favor and for me to go in with the right attitude. Even though I tried several times to meet when I was staying with the team in Badplaas it never happened. Now that I am back in Nelspruit and finally gotten hold of them, they have asked for an 8 am meeting for next Monday. That is 2 hours away in a town I am not familiar with. Already I am frustrated and feel they wanted me to decline their offer to meet. My prayer is to develop an attitude of appreciation and cooperation toward them and that I can develop my ministry to be a support and not a threat to them.

I thank you for letting me share the bare truth of my struggles. As you can see, missionaries are not wiser or holier or more together than anyone else. We need prayer and love and understanding just like you.

For those of you who have been donating to keep me on the field, I am humbled and grateful beyond what I can express. To think that He has laid me on your heart to give sacrificially to help me as I muddle through what my ministry will look like and often not do it well is mind boggling and soul refreshing! I am thankful that even though the enemy wants to point out what I lack, God keeps making it all sort. I was even blessed with a day of pampering at a resort spa last week from Emoyeni. I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Ever since the incident several years back with my truck, I have trusted my finances to God and refuse to worry about it. He never fails to either bring in extra funds when needed or show me how to function without it.

And for those that God has not laid on your heart to give financially, He has blessed me through your willingness to read my ramblings, to give me words of encouragement and especially your remembrance of me in your prayers. Without your prayers and friendship I don’t know how I would cope. Thank you! You guys are the best! Until next time I need your help by letting me write it all out, take care and keep in touch! (Even questions and thoughts are welcome.)

Photo thanks to Beth Phillips for the lone flower on the work site and for Kay West for capturing me in my Emoyeni shirt. Thanks!