It has been 10 years since I bought it and 6 1/2 years since I
lived in it. It has weathered the bottom falling out of the market and years of
renters. It was my dream house....was. God has always provided and has made
sure it was never a burden financially. But He is my dream and He is truly
enough, no matter where I rest my head. I say goodbye today to being a home
owner in the states. I smile as I think of how He has made me comfortable in
going from my own 3 bedroom home to renting a three bedroom one in Africa
filled with short and long term missionaries, to a back yard two bedroom
cottage, to my current one room efficiency. Someone once told me God never wants you to
go backwards and they took that to mean He would always wanted them to live in a better place
than they lived before. Yet He has shown me I need less of
"stuff" and more of Him. I am living better, just not bigger.
When I bought this house, which at the time reflected God’s
providential hand in it, I never would have imagined being where I am today! It closed today in God's timing. It had bounced back where it paid off what was owed and again is leaving me unburdened. I tend to look forward and rarely am reflective of the past but this has given me that opportunity to see how I have changed. I still am far from being selfless but hopefully I am a little more Christ centered and a little less me centered. When I was so down last weekend, lower than I ever remember being since I moved to Africa. It wasn't where I was that brought me comfort but through friends, prayers and Scriptures (Psalm 34:17-19; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:7 and Isaiah 41:13) it was my Lord who held me and comforted me and let me know how much He loves me!
He has great plans ahead! And I will be privileged to be a part of them. But in this time of transition, where He has now slowed me done to a crawl, it is not about what I "do" (He actually doesn't need me). It is realizing He loves me more than anything! My dream is to rest in Him so much that all that will matter is that I am loved and cherished because He is my Father.
I enjoy the memories of my house in GA. I love the smile it brings to my face even as I look at this photo. But I know that as I settle in my Father's house, and can honestly be okay with "doing" nothing but seek Him for a season, I will stop flailing like a drowning person fighting off their rescuer. I will smile and be at peace with the unknown. I will trust the one who holds me by the right hand (so poetic that that is the one that I feel is broken and useless). I will listen to Yahweh who knows my heart's cry. I will rest because His grace is sufficient. Abiding in my Father is my new dream home!
Some are reading this and saying "Whatever! It is a bunch of flowery religious jibber jabber." "I'm glad it makes you feel better, Sandy." That is not the purpose. As I share I risk sounding crazy, or holier than thou or disillusioned. But God is real! He does love us enough to send His only Son to die for us! To be the sacrifice that ends the need for sacrifices. To fulfill what the Passover foretold. And there is not a one of us that is excluded from His love! Not one! I pray that if you read this, and don't know His love personally that you will take the time to read (or reread) the gospel of John or Luke and ask God "If you are really out there, and if you really love me, then open my eyes and heart and show me." May you fully realize how much He loves YOU!
"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15
