Romans 8:35 & 37

This is a deviation to the journey blog I started the other day. I felt compelled tonight to share my journal entry from just about an hour ago; something I don't think I have ever done. I pray that it is for someone who is feeling overwhelmed and in their own cocoon. I also figure that if I don't do it now now, that I will reason my way out of it and fail to be obedient. It may not speak to you but please, as always, bear with me.
Earlier today, it now being close to midnight, I was hit with the most sudden and crippling migraine I have ever had! Gratefully, my migraines have never lasted more than 24 hours (I so feel for those that  have them that last for days). This one has held true in that regard but I have never had one that has been so violent and painful and scary! I am thankful that through it all I knew Char had my back and I was physically not alone. As the pain subsides, I finally was able to sit with my Lord and was led to Romans chapter 8. The following verses (35& 37) spoke to me and I share what I wrote afterwards. Be aware that this is not shared to gain sympathy or compassion but because I think the Lord has someone who needs to hear that He is there in the midst of it.

"'Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death?....No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."
Lord, I have never had a migraine hit so fast & so hard. Thank you that it is dissipating. It has a way of making you feel all alone. Making me feel vulnerable and out of control. Even with others around to help, pain isolates me. It traps me in my own cocoon. I can't even feel You! I can only focus on breathing in & out. Draw me close as the pain subsides. Comfort me and hold me and whisper that even when I don't feel You, you are always there. Thank you!"

Even now as I type this, I know my experience was so short a timespan and that so many deal with chronic pain, or calamity or hunger or cold. I think of my friends who I know suffer so much more than I have. I think of the children and families and pastors we work with who are hungry and cold night after night, day after day. I am humbled by my journal entry and now pray for them to feel you even through their cocoon! May each of us realize how blessed we are to have You in our lives Lord, no matter what is happening! And may anyone who reads this but doesn't know You personally, ask You to reveal Yourself to them and to sincerly ask You into their life! I know You will hear and respond in grace, mercy and love! Amen!

The Long Journey

Wow!

I can't believe I am finally settling down in South Africa!!!! It has been a 9 month transition! And it all started when I arrived, back to Swaziland from my visit to the states last year, the end of July......

 The sponsorship and office staff that I had supervised had really stepped up to the plate the two months I was gone and it was decided that since Children's Cup was wanting to start up in South Africa, I would not step back into my position as office manager and sponsorship director. This is the only role I had known since I had arrived in Swaziland in 2007. Now what? 

South Africa would be my final destination but it was not to happen right away.

The long transition began. Nothing in the next 9 months would be a consistent role for me. Change is not easy and it seems the older you get (and I'm getting up there) the harder it is. So this is my confession and apology of why I hadn't blogged in such a long time. I have been so out of my comfort zone that I had difficulty processing and thus difficulty sharing.

As I get to look back though, I am happy for the opportunities of seeing Children's Cup from other vantage points. At first I got to be what you might title a "CarePoint Coach" and go spend a full day at one CarePoint at a time. This is the dream of every missionary here. To get to spend alot of time in the field... hands on! I was there to evaluate a CarePoints strengths and give help in the areas they were weak. It was a wonderful experience and allowed me to bond with so many of the facilitators in a different way!

The next role I had, I helped visit different sites where we are assisting persons and/or churches with food to feed children in their communities. We needed to assess that the food is being used for the purposes intended and if the feeding site had the potential of becoming a CarePoint in the future. It was rewarding to see the other individuals and groups ministering to so many orphan and vulnerable children. It made me realize how vast the need is beyond where we currently are working but also that there truly are partners out there with the hearts of Christ and we do not serve alone. Some of the sites (I'm sorry not to have pictures) were so remote, the public transport does not even travel to the area. It was humbling to say the least. 

What a eye opening experience both of these temporary "positions" were for me! Although I know most all the aspects of Children's Cup in Swaziland, it was different looking at it without the eyes of just sponsorship. It allowed me to see a a fuller more complete picture of what we do, how we do it, how all the different ministries fit together and what areas we are weak and need to do it better.

I have to admit that I did not like being out of my regular "position" at the time. It was hard and I confess it challenged my identity of who I was as a missionary. "I run the office and oversee the sponsorship program". How could I travel the country and be of value outside of that role? It made me look at the simple but difficult motivation of why I am here. Is it for me or is it for Him?

"My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." 2 Corintians 12:9

 Ouch! Easier to read than to walk out. As I look back, I feel blessed to have been through the journey. Blessed with the opportunity to see the broader picture! 

This is only the first 3 months of my transition! Know that most of these insights were not mine as I walked through this journey. My blog is getting too long, so for now I will pause. I will continue sharing and catching you up on the last 9 months and of my new home in South Africa, so stay tuned for the next addition.

(I promise to do it soon.)

Happy New Year!

Happy 2013!!! A new year has come, a new home for me is coming and a new look to my blog is here!!!! 

I pray that as you reflect on 2012 you are able to see God's hand throughout it. Through the ups and the downs, He never left you. He is always there to be your refuge, your strength, your cheerleader and your loving Father!

2012 had many ups for me:

1) the visits I had with family (Some had been over 3 years since we had hugged)

2) the growth of Children's Cup not only in size but also in depth

    

3) my staff doing so well I was moved out of my position over sponsorship

It was not all sunshine, there were also downs in 2012:

1) the death of my ex-husband and father of my children, Keith Chesterman

2) the 5 month hospitalization of our Swaziland director, Mitch Hildebrant

3) the realization that I would not remain in Swaziland

God is faithful and whether it feels like something was up or down or good or bad; God works it all out for His glory. I strongly believe in the verse God gave me for my journey to Africa which I have quoted often. "Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope!" Ephesians 3:20

As I prepare to move to South Africa in March 2013 my ministry will be the same just different than what it has been!

SAME

Still with Children's Cup

Still working with orphan and vulnerable children

Still working primarily with Swazis

Still being obedient to what I feel God says

DIFFERENT

Will be living in Nelspruit, South Africa

Only initial staff will be myself and Mitch and Char Hildebrant

Will have to get new resident permits sorted for South Africa

We will be partnering with existing ministries to start new CarePoints in Badplaas (about halfway between Mbabane, Swaziland and Nelspruit, South Africa) and Mahushu (the other side of Nelspruit).

Change is challenging, so please keep me in your prayers. I know by 2014 I will be amazed to see all that God does and I pray I can be faithful to the task of starting Children's Cup in a new country. I will deeply miss my dear friends and co-workers in Swaziland that I have spent five years building relationships with! But, my heart swells like a proud parent, that so many have grown and taken over the ministry in ways that allows me not to be needed in Swaziland. It is also comforting to know that although I am in another country, it is only a couple of hours from Mbabane and we will be partnering and visiting often.

I covet your prayers during this time of change. 

Specifically for:

1) Peaceful and smooth transition to South Africa

(Mitch's hopefully final surgery is today and upon Char and his return to Africa, is when we move to SA, probably in March)

2) Please pray that Mitch's surgery is successful and he has a complete and quick recovery!

3) Grace for getting necessary organizational and individual government paperwork to be received and processed timely and correctly

4) The logistics of housing and office (please check out http://www.mitchionary.blogspot.com/ for how we are trying to purchase a facility that can do both)

5) That I walk in joy, peace and continued obedience for 2013!

Thank you for being so faithful to read my blogs, to support me with prayers and finances and just to send me your love and encouragement throughout the journey!

Ngiyabonga kakhulu kakhulu!!! "Knee-yah-bone-gah 

gah-koo-loo gah-koo-loo" which means 

I thank you soooooo much!!!

Happy New Year!

Christmas Memories

As I look back at my Christmas' past I remember fondly of the trees, the stockings, special gifts, traveling to relatives, family Christmas Eve bingo ( a Sparks family tradition), grandmother's home made rolls & fried okra, talent shows (a Chesterman family tradition), and birthday parties for Jesus. What do you fondly remember?

My more recent Christmases have changed. Being on the other side of the ocean and away from family, winter snow, commercials and sales my holiday focus has changed and I am grateful to God for it. I don't want to diminish Christmas traditions or family gatherings, I do cherish them but I also love that here my life and Christmas has become much more basic. My focus can now be more centered on our Savior and His birth. He left glory; heavenly hosts singing holy, holy holy to come to earth. To a simple, stinking stable with no red carpet or royal greeting. To save those whom would never fully understand Him. Those that would not recognize His glory but persecute and eventually crucify Him. And He loved us so much, He loved me so, much that even if it was just me He would have still done it. Unfathomable!

 As "Christmas Day" has now passed, I remember the truth we shared with the children at the parties. 

You can trust God ....no matter who you are, where you are or what your circumstances!

I can celebrate the joy of your Savior even without a Christmas tree or presents or family or snow! I wish you a belated Merry Christmas and may you relish the reason for the season, Christ our Lord and Savior, and trust Him and His daily presence in your life!!!!

Note for those that have visited Swaziland before: The pictures above come from the parties at Mangwaneni, Mbekelweni, Mayenjane, Section 19 and two new sites in South Africa-Badplaas and Mahushu.

Taking the Wheel

A lot of things are happening in my life since I was in the states. God continues to grow and stretch me. Over the years submission has been a key area of needed growth. I like to be in control but that is not always how God sets things up. The visual illustration God has given me on submission is that I am the passenger in a car. I am not the driver.

As long as the car is going where I want to go and is taking the route I would take, no problem. I can be submissive. Actually the definition of submission is "To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another." So when you are in agreement with the direction of things there is nothing to yield so I really was not needing to be submissive. But what about when I feel we are going the wrong direction or worse yet, going to be in an accident? I would take the wheel and get us back on course. . . . . my course.

What God has taught me is that it is not a matter of control as much as it is a matter of trust. If God's plan is to put someone over me, then do I trust His plan. Do I trust that He watches over me even if we take a wrong turn? Do I trust that maybe it is not about me, maybe He is growing and stretching the driver and when I reach over and take the wheel I prevent that growth? I think that is what happened in my marriage. Do I trust God even if His plan means we do have the accident? Maybe I will grow going through it, or maybe I'm to minister to someone else during it or maybe I will never understand it. But I am learning to trust God and His plan even when I don't get to do the driving! Does that mean I need to be a silent passenger? No way, communication is key! But it does mean that I can still trust that God has my back when I am under the leadership He has put in charge. When I am obedient to what God tells me to do (which occasionally might be to grab the wheel--but only occasionally) and to trust Him that He will ALWAYS be there with me!

Where is God leading you? Is the road leading you to places you never expected? Do you trust Him? 

God has done some remarkable things in and through me the last 5 years when He led me to Swaziland. Now as the road curves slightly and He directs the path of Children's Cup to take me to South Africa, I go trusting that He has even more amazing things on the journey!!!!

Flashback!

5 years ago today was my first day with Children's Cup! What an adventure it has been! How blessed to have God use me and grow me and stretch me beyond anything I could ever imagine!!! As those of you who knew me before I came to Swaziland will agree, being a missionary was NEVER on my radar! But I can honestly say I do not even slightly regret being obedient when He called me! His plan is so much better than my plans have ever been. As my future changes and I continue to be obedient to Him I'm sure the journey ahead will only get better! For now, enjoy some flashback pictures of the last 5 years. It has been pointed out that the longer I am here the shorter my hair gets.---Not sure if that is true but I did have a wild hair day in the second pic! LOL!

Ephesians 3:20 “Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.”