Today marks a year since I landed back in the USA to make it home. What has the year back taught me? Leaps and bounds! It is just different. The lessons and God's truth is the same but it is, shall I say..... worlds or at least an ocean apart from where I was the previous 7+ years!! Not so much that America is so different than Africa but more like "regular life" is so vastly different than missionary life. For one, I don't get to "do life" together anymore. As a missionary your life has to be so interconnected between life and ministry. Even when you aren't in the same ministries you have to rely on each other more. It is hard to explain but you need people to "pick" things up for you because they are making a trip across the border. You have to have each other's back more because there is no AAA if your vehicle breaks down. You need to bounce ideas off each other because your way of thinking doesn't communicate effectively the idea you are trying to express to another culture (or personality). That said though, I have had a wonderfully smooth and blessed transition and it wasn't until last month that God revealed why mine missed some landmines that other missionaries might have encountered.
Epiphany #1: - 30 days of Thanksgiving
When I first moved I pledged to find something I appreciated about my new home every day for the first 30 days home. I felt it was a wise idea for reentering back into America. But only last month did God open my eyes to what the actual benefit of that was and that it was a key to the spiritual warfare that surrounded me! I'm facilitating Priscilla Shirer's study The Armor of God at my church. We were studying the shoes of peace and throughout the study we have been collecting "actionable intel" on Satan (what we learn about our enemy's strategies). One day when I was out walking the dogs, the Lord revealed the significance of my obedience in giving thanks my first 30 days. It did transform my mind to focus on the positives (all places have positives and negatives and you choose which to dwell on) but it was more. Thanksgiving silences the enemy! He gave me the picture of throwing water on the wicked witch of the west in the Wizard of Oz! My reentry went so well because my giving thanks prevented the enemy from many of his attacks! Wow! God is so good even when we don't fully understand the significance of what He is doing!
Epiphany #2: - God did not call me away from Africa but rather to something different.
"Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Ephesians 3:20...This is the verse God gave me for Africa.
Last year - "For I am about to do a brand new thing. See I have already begun! Do you not see it?" Isaiah 43:19 The verse God spoke through a fellow missionary when I announced God was calling me back to the U.S. A verse that I didn't "see" and still don't fully understand. But again, until this recent study, I hadn't fully internalized that I didn't move because I was leaving something but rather because He was calling me to something new! (Kind of like when He called me to Africa) And this has been so releasing! I don't have the complete picture of what this brand new thing is.... but I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS! Wow! (Double wow if you know me well.) I trust more. I enjoy the journey more. I treasure the relationship connection more than the tasks. That makes Africa so worth it just on the personal level and America so exciting on a spiritual level. It also led to my 3rd Epiphany....
Epiphany #3 - I'm Different
An extraordinary phenomenon is that I have not been seen as a "returning missionary" but as a fellow Christian seeking God. This lack of being on a pedestal so to speak has allowed me not to focus on the expectations of others but just be a Christian growing in her walk day by day. I can see how much God has changed my thinking, my strengths, my passions and how I relate to people. I get to share what I learned on the mission field as it pertains to what we are studying but not as a badge unto itself. I love it and am excited to see God intermingle my different experiences to encourage and challenge others. I love seeing how I value honoring others over having an agenda or being "right". I love the pure excitement in soaking in daily the joy, wisdom, peace and love of the Lord rather than focusing on "doing it right". I love living in my identity as God's daughter and not feeling I have to worry about how others perceive me. I am so thankful for the freedom to be and do things differently than I ever did before. To embrace that I am different because He has been changing me....for the better! And for those that have known me a long time, you know what a drastic, only God could have done it, kind of thing! Amen!
So what are some of new beginnings this past year: (just so you know, not because I am a super duper anything)
***First I want to say that I don't volunteer or say yes to anything I haven't prayed about and felt God's "green light"... I have said no to some things but I am doing more than I ever expected or thought possible. God is good!
I now facilitate a women's bible study with 2 different groups at my church (I never led a women's bible study before---my African missionaries are laughing at this because they've tried to get me to do it for years but I didn't feel the call. I do now and am so blessed by the ladies in my groups!).
I teach young children in AWANAS (3-6yr olds)! This was a yes from God when I was hesitant to jump in but I was obedient. It has been exhausting but so rewarding and I love my kids (and my assistant) and am blessed by them!
I volunteer at a local clothing/food bank once a week. I am thankful for a ministry outside my local church that lets me show love and honor and smiles to others in my community and from other churches that I might never have gotten to meet otherwise.
I also am loving having a gym and a great senior center where I can regularly exercise and dance and laugh and encourage other ladies (and be encouraged by them) (I'm known as a Dancing with the Stars Wannabe!)
There are other activities I am involved in where I am able to administrate or encourage or worship or serve and I am richly blessed by them!
In this year I have gotten a stronger confidence to speak up and to speak out about what God is doing in my life. I can openly share what I feel Him encouraging me to say to others. But, this is important and enormous....I'm okay to let the Holy Spirit go from there. If I or someone else make different choices I know there is spiritual growth in failure and it does not always have to be my way. God time and again works out ALL things for good for those who love Him. I am called by God to work on walking humbly, speaking truth gently, persistently and patiently in love and striving to unite in the Holy Spirit in peace not disunity. I might not fully know what the new pathway God is making for me but that is okay. I am enjoying just walking with Him day by day and saying yes to the different things He gives me that nudge to do.
The future: Currently the future holds becoming a grandmother ("gogo") x 3 in May to one grandson (Michael and Stephanie are expecting May 1st) and fraternal twin granddaughters (Kristopher and Christina are scheduled to deliver on May 9th). They all live in GA. And then in June to be the "cook" for our youth camp at Falls Creek and to teach in VBS! (They have no idea what a stretch in faith this is for me!) I'm also feeling a nudge to really step out of my comfort zone and plan a women's luncheon or conference before the end of the year and speak. (Still seeking God about the details of this one and perfectly fine if He closes that door.)
So as I reflect on this past year.... I am amazed at God's grace, goodness, faithfulness and blessing! I remember one year in the middle of my Africa life when I focused on tapping into my "JOY" in the Lord and how much of a struggle it had been for me over the years of my whole life and now I'm not just tapped into, it just seems to overflow! Things aren't perfect and I definitely fall short but God doesn't! I am excited about the road ahead no matter what "brand new thing" He has already begun! I appreciate my past and am confident that my future is in good hands but more importantly I am excited about today and the blessings it always holds (even when I am fighting the migraines of this past week). Thank you for letting me share. I pray you see the Lord more than me as you have read this and that it blesses your walk with Him. I might not be as efficient in keeping in touch but know that it doesn't mean I value you less. Love and hugs and high five twirls!!!!
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