Today Was the Day

Friday, January 30th 2009 (Don't know why it is saying January 27th)
All week God has been impressing upon me that relationships are more important than tasks. Not how I usually operate. The prayer I read in the Purpose Driven Life goes like this:
“God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people – because that’s what life is all about. I don’t want to waste this day.”
Simple enough but such a difficult shift in my mindset. But God is so good! This is how God help me deviate from just having a “to do” list.
Monday: Spent time shopping with an older student for school uniform. Tell you more about Tito on another blog.
Tuesday: Hung out at Mangwaneni CarePoint in the pouring rain and brought stuff for the older girls to make bead bracelets and took pictures of kids and showed them back to them.
Wednesday: Spent time with a headmaster (principal) and teacher at a school trying to get 2 students enrolled and ending up learning more about how the school system works, having empathy for overcrowded classrooms, understanding my students better and having a mutual respect for the headmaster.
Thursday: Spent time with a friend who is a new mother and who I haven’t gotten to see because I’m “too busy”. What a blessing!
Friday: Visited an employee whose daughter had major surgery for scoliosis and had to conquer her own fear of hospitals to be there for her child. Then bumped into an acquaintance whose husband has cancer and who be moving in a few months to Botswana to be with her daughter. (I will plan time for tea and a longer chat before she departs.)

This is the blog I intended to expound on as God has blessed me tremendously this week in relationships. Then it happened------- For those who have read my blog since I came to Swaziland might remember when I wondered what it was going to feel like when someone I knew died of AIDS. Today (Friday the 30th of January)was the day and my heart aches.

When HPC (Healing Place Church) Swaziland began, I started watching the 5 and under children during children’s church. That is when I met Celmusa (“click”-el-moo-sah). He was 4 but looked about 2. He and his mom spoke and understood very little English but came to church after members had prayed for Celmusa when he was sick. His mother said she liked to come because she could feel God’s love at our church. Celmusa was very attached to his mother and would scream if I tried take him to class. His mom would bring him back and gradually he was fine with staying and playing.
Celmusa had the cutest smile. He got to where he would give me high fives, dance with me during worship, play blocks with me in class and just smile every time I greeted him at church. I would ask “How’s my Musa today?” and he would just grin.
Last Sunday his mom said he wasn’t feeling well. He didn’t go to class but slept through service. His mom was worried. Jessie our nurse visited with her (with an interpreter). He was running a fever and had other symptoms and she was advised to take him to the doctor. Jessie assured mom she was taking good care of her son and it was the disease not her care that was the problem. Celmusa’s mom took him to the government hospital that afternoon. Celmusa was admitted, put on oxygen and died on Thursday. He died. I didn’t even realize he was in the hospital all week. (It is a dismal place.) This little life I love interacting with is no longer here because of this disease that is tearing at this whole nation!
It hurts! I don’t want Celmusa to be gone. I want to see his smile on Sunday and give him a high five! My heart breaks because 1 out of every 2 people I know here is probably HIV positive. I hate it! My flesh wants to yell “what’s the point!!!” But God is in control and He wants fellowship with each and every one of us. Why He let Celmusa die I don’t know. To relieve Celmusa’s pain? So his mom could hear and understand about heaven and hell so she may know Christ as her Savior? For a totally different reason? I don’t know. God was not caught by surprise but it has rocked my world. People I know are suffering, struggling to find food to eat most days, shivering in the rain and even dying; but this life is but a drop in the bucket. Where will they spend eternity? Where will they find true peace in the midst of such hopelessness? Our hope is in Christ but what am I doing to make sure they find it? It’s not in being only focused on office work --- it’s in spending TIME with individuals; sharing in their lives; showing them, not telling them, about my relationship with Christ. Thank you Celmusa for the wakeup call! I know God is enjoying your smile as you dance pain free tonight. I’ll miss you!!!
“So we don’t look at the troubles we can see right now, rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
Grief is not a luxury most Swazi’s will indulge in. Death occurs too frequently for that. But Celmusa’s mother is the most loving mother I have seen. She loved Celmusa with all her heart and I could always tell that he knew that. There is a newborn brother and other siblings to care for. We are having Swazi leaders in our church ministering to mom’s spiritual needs as the church also helps with the physical needs. Pray for Celmusa’s family. Thank you those that make it possible for me to be here. Even with the pain in my growing spiritually, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.