It's Not All About Africa

The longer I'm here the more I realize that yes, I'm a missionary in Africa but God wants me, everyday to become more Christlike. And though I know it's not all about me, it's also not all about Africa; it's about God! There is a song by a group, Casting Crowns called "Somewhere in the Middle". Here are the lyrics:

Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side

Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

The words keep echoing in my soul. Now put this song with a fiction book I'm reading by Randy Alcorn titled "Safely Home" that is about the persecution of the Christians in China. Could I worship God only in secret with a threat of imprisonment or torture or death? Witnessing to others with risk of being turned in? Could I handle poverty due to a lack of opportunities available for those labeled "Christians"? Could I live where life is "unfair"?

God didn't stop challenging me there, my church here is doing a series on Revelation. What if we aren't raptured "pre-tribulation", am I ready to stand up against persecution and say I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior during the end times? Another words have I surrendered all? What am I trying so hard to hold on to and why?

The line I put in bold in the song, "Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control" is repeating continually in my heart. Why is it so hard to fully

trust God???

Why can I seem so trusting to tithe, when I have extra money in the bank but when the safety net is not there it becomes harder to trust Him to take care of the bills? Did I deep down believe I was doing it before by my own efforts? Why can I surrender my will when it is going the way I want it to but start trying to rationalize when it's not the direction I was planning to go? Why is it so easy to praise God when I'm healthy and working and life is going good but so hard to even smile when I or someone else is suffering? Do I believe He is in control? Do I trust He has a plan? Do I trust that whether He heals someone immediately or through doctors and treatments or not until they are with Him in heaven that He is not working ALL things together for good? How can I know I have true peace until I have it when I'm in the storm? How do I know I can walk on water until I get out of the boat when the waves are crashing all around me? Why am I so afraid to not be in control?

Nov. 16th I will have been here 2 years. Can you believe it? And all I know is that although it didn't make any rational sense for God to call a 48 year old administrative person to go half way around the world to work with orphan and vulnerable children; He called and I went. My one act of true obedience in my life and I don't regret one step of the journey. But I am realizing I have so much farther to go. I am so excited that He cares for me enough to keep challenging me until I am no longer somewhere in the middle!!!! (I'm excited that I am excited, because that's not part of my normal behavior.) May I continue to trade my dreams for His and may one day I totally and honestly lose ALL control of my life to Him! Although it has taken bringing me to Africa to get to this point in my life, it's not all about Africa; it's about total trust in the God that created me and loved me enough to let His son die for my sins. And the One who can work through me to do amazing, incredible, indescribable things if I will just get out of the middle!

Siyabonga!

Just a quick thank you! In Siswati it is siyabonga "see-yah-bone-gah". It is nice to get comments on my blogs and also to realize that I have new followers!! That is just such a special blessing and an encouragement to me! I have found some money to get a few more girls uniforms. They were fitted for and will get to pick up their new school uniforms on Tues. As funds become available we will try to do it for more children next year. January is when the new school year begins. Maybe we will also be able to help with new black school shoes.

Pray for us. School fees are a major burden for the families we work with. The government is going to start offering free public schooling for Grade 1 and 2 in January, which is a tremendous blessing that is hoped to expand a grade each year but the number of children that will start attending this January will make classroom sizes enormous. The government is looking at split schedules and other ideas. Pray that God grants them wisdom for this huge task. Pray that we are able to find ways to support them and help the children we work with succeed in their schooling.

Thank you for your encouragement to me. Busiseka! "boo-see-say-gah" which translates to Be blessed!

The difference two girls made in Swaziland!

We think so often that the problem is too big and we are too small to make a difference in this world! We sell God so short of what He can do through us!!!! Anna and Kaitlin are proof of what can do with a willing heart! These are two young ladies who decided to ask for donations for Swaziland instead of birthday presents earlier this year. A simple idea that has now impacted several girls from Fonteyn and Mangwaneni, Mbabane CarePoints!!! Way to go!

Jabu, an orphan at Fonteyn came up and asked me if I could help her get a new uniform. She usually wore a sweater over it. Why? Because she had been wearing the same uniform to school

for 4 years!!!!! Without her sweater you could see that her uniform could no longer even button together and her hem was let out as far as possible.

That's when I started looking and seeing the holes and patches on other uniforms and I started visiting online with Anna Shaw on how to spend her "birthday" money.

I had the teachers assist me in finding the girls who helped out at the CarePoint and attended

Bible Club regularly and who had outgrown their uniforms. Besides Jabu @ Fonteyn, Nokwanda

"no-kwan-dah", Sikhulile "see-koo-lee-lay", Cebsile "click-abe-see-lay" and Sphiwe "spee-way" were happy and proud to get new uniforms! See the before and after pictures!

At Mangwaneni, Fakazile "fah-gah-zee-lay", Nemi "nay-me", Tambasile "Tom-bah-see-lay" and Thando "Tahn-doe" were all measured. Tambasile will be getting hers this coming Tues. as the seamstress, Nelly finishes it up. The girls agreed that since they look so good now their grades (ranking here) will aslo improve. (Confidence -a side effect to not being ashamed of how you look.)

What Anna and Kaitlin did was improve the self esteem of these girls and let them know that two other girls, that live so far away, cared enough to make sacrifices to help them. The girls could hardly believe that another girl would refuse a present so they could help them!

"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Thanks, Anna and Kaitlin for being such an excellent example that we are never too young or too old or too poor or too far away to step out in our faith and make a difference, even over in Africa!!!! I am so proud and honored to be able to be your hands and feet over here!! Way to go!!!