Peace on Earth

"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid." 
John 14:27

Lately I have been processing a lot. (Not like my friend Janelle but more than usual for me.) I have been reading about different people and the miracles that have been performed through them and through different ministries. I was struggling with not having enough faith to call down and witness miracles in and around me. Recently I felt God saying to me that it is not the miracles that is needed right now it is His peace. 

Stay with me as I process this...

I have a dear friend who is struggling with severe health issues and although I prayed with her this morning for complete healing the word the Lord gave me was to have her focus on His peace. Specifically to not let the enemy fill her with anxiety and rob her of her peace.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

Not in the ultra spiritual, that will preach kind of way but in a deep, true to heart kind of way. I'm not sure if this makes sense but lately God has flooded me with His divine peace. It is not something that is natural for me but it is something that I now crave. And it is like God has been opening my spiritual eyes to how Satan is robbing people of their peace. Whether it is because of their health, family issues, work situations or lack of work, finances, fear or other outside circumstances, He keeps showing me the lack of peace and increasing my desire to not let go of the peace I now have. It seems to me that peace equals trust and that fear and anxiety are a lack of trust and thus a lack of peace.

God has reminded me how I have held onto this peace in one aspect of my life since I was 20 and I first lived out on my own. I was becoming anxious about being alone in a crime filled San Fernando Valley. A helicopter with a search light was flying over my apartment. It was one of those moments with God that I specifically remember. I came to the point of saying, "Lord, I trust you to protect me and to be with me if something bad happens. I refuse to dwell on the what ifs anymore." Since then, I have always been able to be alone when needed and not chasing my imagination of what could go bump in the night (which I feel the enemy feeds on).

Unfortunately, as profound as that was, I never connected that peace to extending to the other areas of my life, until my current epiphany. I have always felt my theme of growth since I came to Africa was to trust and obey. But, as I so often had done in my past, that trust, I realize now, was done a lot in my own effort, my own strength or my own manipulation of the situation. Even, honestly, in how I would post things on the Internet. It was not really trust at all. Or at least not trust in God. Let me become totally transparent here; I can choose to let you put me on a pedestal and pull your heart strings because I am in the midst of poverty and I can make you feel guilty by pulling the "missionary card" and saying I am in need. Where is the trust that God will provide? That short circuits His miracle of knowing my need and moving on someone else's heart to provide without us ever communicating. Now I'm not saying we should never put the needs out there. But I am saying that it should be because I feel led to share not because I feel if I don't share, the need won't be provided for. Tough balance and that is where the peace comes in. The peace in trusting and obeying God and not trying to control or manipulate (trusting my own efforts, not God's).

Since the decision of my separation from Children's Cup, as unexpected as it was, I feel God has blessed me with divine peace about the situation. Something beyond what I can grasp but something that once given I am holding onto with both hands, feet and my whole being. Picture me wrapped around a tree in a flood of uncertainty. God is saying that He is that tree and I am safe in Him. I might not have the answers of what lies beneath the flood waters but I can trust Him that there is solid ground and I will see it, and be able to stand on it when the time is right.

He also revealed the truth of His peace when my heart was acting up recently. It wasn't like a flood but it was waves of fear as I would go back and forth between peace and anxiety that my heart may stop and I might not wake up in the morning. Before seeing the cardiologist and finding my heart is structurally fine and the arrhythmia is nothing to worry about, I had to wrestle with and be at peace (and yes trust) that if I died, it was okay. God has a plan and no matter what, I would not let the devil rob me of that peace. I literally had to choose His peace, His plan, His Word over living with anxiety, lack of sleep, stress and fear.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28

These are not just words on a page, they are truth. They can be trusted and they bring peace if I let them. Even in bad situations, I pray that I will hold on to Him, that I will trust Him. He has my back and everyone else around me. He doesn't need me to make all things right unless He specifically tells me to do something. Then I need to obey even if I don't understand it or agree with it.

I believe in the power of prayer and am lifting up my friends (two of which I just heard today) whose health is in an easily anxious mysterious state, and friends who are without employment and those who are in employment but frustrated and angry and for those who are worried about their finances and other issues or where worry has just become a habit. While seeking peace amidst storms, I still will ask Him to quiet the winds but when He doesn't I will choose to trust Him, be at peace and if He calls me, to even walk on water in the storm. I patiently wait in anticipation for that moment!

Thank you for letting me process and be lengthy. If you made it to the end of this blog, bless you and thank you. I hope that maybe my journey was something that you needed to help you on yours.
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2 :14