So Thankful!!!

I am so thankful for God's continued provision. If I looked at my budget, I would never think that month to month I could make ends meet, let alone be able to do handle extra expenses like my recent medical emergency or be able to help with ministry opportunities. But God is soooo faithful time and time again!!!!

Every month I am able to tithe to a local church here, help others in need, encourage and plant seeds to help local women try to start a business venture and now take care of needs on my truck. God moved in the heart of someone to pay for 2 new tires after a brief note to my church on how my 2 back tires were thin and the men around here were worried about my safety!!! I cannot tell you how blessed I am by the gift

(thank you my friend)!!!!

As the time for taxes approaches and I am doing Andy Stanley's video series in my ladies group about not worrying, I am thankful that I am not full of anxiety about estimated payments to pay or my house I still own but wish was sold or other things on the truck I should fix. I am actually finding that I am thankful that I am an American, that I have renters in my house currently and that my truck is running well even with a few rust spots and broken odometer, etc.

More than anything, God has been transforming my heart. Where in my past I would have fallen into the trap of worry and having everything spelled out and orderly, I am finding a new freedom on things that God is whispering, "I got it! Let it go!". Before I would have felt that I was being irresponsible. But that is not the case, God is being faithful!!! And for my history of being tight and controlling of what I have, God is enabling me to give when He prompts and He is sorting out the rest. I do not have to understand it all! I do not have to see how it is going to work! I just have to be obedient and trust!!!

Siyabonga kakhulu kahle!!! "See-yah-bone-gah gah-koo-loo gah-sleigh" (Thank you very much!!!) All of you who have allowed God to use you to be a blessing to me through your support, your prayers, your finances and/or your encouragement, I want to thank you deeply! You are a blessing to me!!! I am so blessed to minister in Swaziland and to see God work things out!!!

"and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:33

Be encouraged today to trust God in whatever way he prompts and let Him sort it out!! You will be amazed and blessed as He sorts out the things you felt only you should handle. Pray I continue to let go and trust God daily in whatever situation He allows, whether physical, financial or spiritual. May we all draw closer to Him and increase in the joy that brings!!!

As a closing side note. In my Beth Moore video series, she said she likes to give God applause. Sounds a little silly if you are self conscious but I have had fun doing it this last week . . . so here goes; go ahead and join me!

This is for you God!

Clap! Clap!! Clap! Clap!! Clap! Clap!! Clap!!!

Faith

Been reflecting lately on how my blogs have turned more towards facts and less about my journey with God. Probably reflects my life in general the last 6 months or year, "to do" list so long that I'm not taking time to reflect and share on the spiritual side. (Not just with my readers but with me.) Not that God and I are not spending daily time together or that I feel distant from Him but just have not been as contemplative lately.

Currently I am in a women's bible study, doing Beth Moore's study on the Fruit of the Spirit, an area God and I have been working on over the last year a lot. This week, when stricken by a strange, weird infection that has swollen and caused pain in my face, I am studying the quality of "faithfulness". Before I go rambling, let me share 2 things that have jumped out so far in just the 1st 2 days of this week's study.

1) As I shared on my FaceBook page. "Faith is not an action; it is a response. If we strive to have faith, we may be miserably disappointed."

2) This is a prayer Beth shared "God, I can't understand why You're doing this. But I know that, unlike me, Your actions cannot be inconsistent with Your heart, and I know Your heart is loving, good, and faithful. Somehow, some way, somewhere all these things are for good. If I could just know You better through this, that is all the good I need."

18 months ago, God reached out to me about healing me and I felt He healed my sinuses. I DO feel He healed my sinuses, just not the way I assumed. (Quick summation: 18 months ago my sinuses were full & packed & CTscan came back as worst ENT had ever seen and he wanted to do surgery. I have had 5 sinus surgeries back in the states and from my final diagnosis there, I knew that surgery was not an option. I wrestled with feeling unworthy when God told me to go forward in a healing service yet I went forward and He cleared out my head and helped me wrestle with other spiritual truths of His love for me.)

Fast forward to the last couple of months. I started having allergy problems, which escalated after my move to my new home that was more of a valley than the mountains and so it has different plant life. I am not allergic to any food or medicines but when it comes to growing things, I am allergic to most all grasses, weeds, trees, dust, mold etc. Started wrestling with doubt. "But God, you healed me. Didn't you?" Lots of questions without answers. Now I was up to a major sinus infection which I was self treating because in the past it was usually fungal not bacterial and wrestling more and more with what did God heal me of originally if this is back. "Am I doing something wrong, am I not believing in the healing?"

And then Thursday afternoon, pain started in one spot on my face (like a pimple starting to form and hurts deep until it makes a head). By bedtime the right side of my nose was swollen and sensitive to touch making me think maybe a bite. By morning, my whole nose into my cheekbones were swollen with blisters and the pressure felt like my skin would explode. Touching any of the areas was painful and my moving effected face muscles was difficult and hurt. "God, I don't understand!!!"

Went to the doctor Friday morning (a blessing that one was found not far away. . . did I mention I am away from home on the far and more desolate side of Swaziland) and after he heard me out (poor guy), he felt strongly that I have a bacterial infection and started me on 2 antibiotics, along with some other meds and that I should start seeing it go down by Sat. afternoon. He said to not go to the CarePoint that day and to rest. I don't like being sick, I don't like bailing out of my job (we are out here for 5 days with a specific schedule we needed to accomplish . . .BTW thank you Tamara for accomplishing more efficiently yesterday than if I was along), I whine at discomfort and needless to say feeling sorry for those that had to fill in for me and really feeling sorry about "poor" me.

Ready for my epiphany? You probably already have this down but here goes.

1) It is not all about me!!! (An ongoing wrestle match I have between myself and God. You just never realize how self absorbed you become until you don't get your way!)

2) He DID heal me, just not how I thought He did or should have. What I needed then was a clear head and that is what He gave me. Who am I to define my gift or ask for more than the blessing it was.

3) My current sinus problem was not because of anything I failed to do in faith. My faith is not based on my actions. Faith is not a roller coaster. I am not to base my faith on what God does but on who He is! I can trust Him even if I don't understand Him.

So, how am I today? Physically, still in pain, with swelling and questionable if it actually better or just spread out differently. But spiritually I feel I have been growing a lot.

1) Winning today's battle of it not being all about me.

2) Realizing that no matter if medically we are on the right track and I get better or not that I trust God and the outcome.

3) Stop whining and be a light no matter how I feel (not meaning I don't rest and take care of myself, just not complain about it . . . definitely a lot more people dealing with more than I am).

4) Rest in my God's love. "Genuine faith walks steadfastly with God for the pleasure of His company not for His results." Enjoy my more God time right now! "God does not call upon us to seek His works. He calls upon use to seek His heart!"

Looking forward to new perspective on my days ahead. Thank you for your prayers and your support and for reading my ramblings. By opening up my heart and struggles and doubts, I pray it benefits others as it helps me to take the time to contemplate them.

"The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made." Psalm 145:13

Pictures of my new home

Sorry for the delay in getting you pictures of my new home. There have been some projects I have been working hard on at the CarePoints and my allergies have been horrible and have left me exhausted in the evenings. But today I am taking time to post some pictures.

I have been challenged in my old age to find that change is hard for me.

Slowly but surely, I am finding a place for things, getting use to the heat, got screens to keep mosquitoes out (thanks to Maryann's dad who is visiting) and starting to get into more of a routine. My place is newer than most in Swaziland and was not used for a long time. It is a small cottage in the backyard of a larger home where fellow missionaries, Danny & Maryann Quirion live with their children, Lindsey, Olivia, Sophie and Jude.

I have 2 rooms, one is a bedroom and one is a study/dryer room. My bedroom contains one of my price possessions; my "sanctuary chair". A cushy, comfortable chair in Swaziland is hard and expensive to find but about 2 years ago I made the plunge to have a special place for my quiet time before I even left my bedroom each day. (Because once I leave my bedroom the distractions come and I lose my focus!) I would not normally have picked green but it worked out well (and was the only color choice available). My washer is not in my second room but out behind my house because there is no water hook up for it inside. But Karen Brennan (another missionary here) made me like a grill cover for it.

I have a spacious living room area and a bright sunny kitchen.

First picture is from my front door while the second is from my back door.

I am blessed to have 2 bathrooms, one with a shower and one with a bath. I am also thankful that I was able to find housing that is secure and safe, one of the most important aspects of a house for a missionary in Swaziland.

So as you can see I am soooo fortunate to not live in a stick and mud home with outdoor plumbing like so many of our children at the CarePoints do. No wonder missionaries are considered so rich by the Swazis. For Americans though, I do live more simply. No A/C, no TV stations, internet and electricity are on a pay as you go and there are no Taco Bells, McDonald's or Subway's to drive through in the area.

The view from my kitchen window is of one mountain and the view from my front door is the Quirions backyard and another beautiful mountain. Isn't Swaziland gorgeous??? I am so thankful on how God has sorted more affordable housing for me. I have a little longer commute and gas has risen to what equals about $5.15 a gallon but I am sure God's hand will continue to work out the finances there too.

If you would like to help me in my monthly support please go to childrenscup.org

under "Get Involved" and then "Online Donation" and then "Sandra Chesterman".

The Oasis church supports me primarily but has given permission for me to raise additionally to try to compensate for the increase cost of living that has occurred during the 3+ years I have been here. Thank you for all your prayers and love and comments!!!! You do not know how much it means to me!!!!

Continue to be blessed so you can be a blessing!!!!

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" Joshua 24:15