My Friend

I write this mainly for me as a remembrance and a process in grieving for my friend Rita.

I’d known her for less than a year. I joined the gym last July and started a water aerobics class. She was the classy older Afrikaans lady with the warm smile. She was friendly and we had a little small talk in the locker room but we were so vastly different.  Then, last September she fell and broke her leg. Some might say it was the start of her end but for me it was the beginning of something beautiful.

My missionary friend, Char, suggested we go visit her in the hospital. Since Mitch’s 5 month stay there the year before, Char was very sensitive to visiting those in the hospital, and so I went mainly to humor her.  What would an elegant lady 16 years my senior, really want with 2 American ladies visiting her in the hospital? She was a riot. She was feisty and independent, funny and endearing. Me, being the sensitive type (not), didn’t bring her flowers or juice or a magazine but rather a long pair of BBQ tongs to help her pick up things while she recovered. She loved them and used them often she told me last month.  Char and I found that we lived very close to Rita and took her on a few errands when she got out of the hospital. We then started visiting, first together and then separate. Somehow I ended up coming on Sunday afternoons, “family day”, when she said she felt the most alone.

Rita’s older brother had passed away 3 years earlier and over Christmas break, her housekeeper of 23 years became too ill to work and her only other brother died. Rita’s husband had died several years back and her step children lived in Australia. She had 4 nieces/nephews that lived 4 hours away but otherwise she had no family, she was missing her siblings and was depressed and lonely. We started doing lunch on Sundays and ended up talking about everything. The day she started smoking in front of me, I knew we had crossed a threshold. We just clicked. We talked about family and our pasts, our successes and our failures, relationships, God, fear, hopes, etc. We started working on her financial issues, going through all her misc. “stuff” to prepare for moving to a smaller place that would save money but also allow for her dogs. Did I tell you she was a HUGE animal lover?  She had 2 dogs (Fritz and Stormy), fed the neighborhood birds (mainly pigeons) and even left a piece of dog food out for the ants. She never killed ants but would sweep them out of the house. LOL! We even discussed the possibility of moving in together, something she said she didn’t ever think she would get along well enough with anyone to even think to ask that. I never thought I would find someone I might even considering doing that with myself, especially one who wasn’t a missionary and wasn’t American. But as I said before, God had blossomed an amazing and deep friendship in a short amount of time.

Rita kept calling me her “angel” because with all the work transitions and the lack of family to care for, I had TIME. I told Rita that I wasn’t her angel but she was my “answer to prayer”.  I had prayed for a friend. Not to slight any of my married missionary friends, but I needed someone who I could spend time with without worrying I was taking them away from their family time or commitments. Rita was someone I could go deep with on any subject or just laugh with and be silly. Someone I could be “cheeky” with but also brutally honest.  Someone I could sit on the bed with and watch TV (criminal shows) and talk about “stuff” serious or not so serious. We had a friendship that where we could be vulnerable enough to ask for help and gracious enough to share our appreciation. She was someone in the end I felt honored, not burdened to spend 12 hours/day by her side in the hospital advocating for her needs.

Rita’s leg surgery from September had not taken and she actually walked on a broken leg for almost 6 months before they went in and put in a clamp in March. Rita was strong, active and determined. She did her therapy exercises religiously. She had the most gorgeous legs even at 70 that even I was jealous. And she was so flexible she could bend fully at the waist and pick up something on the ground. I moved in with her for a few days when she was released from the hospital just to make sure she was okay. We changed her dressing (35cm) daily and it was healing nicely. The doctor actually had stopped putting the dressing on after her 10 day post-surgery office visit. Then, what was evidently an infection in the bone, rose to the incision and a week after that office visit we went back to the doctor and she was immediately admitted back to the hospital. One thing and then another stacked against her and she never came back home. 

A couple of weeks before she died, Rita had lost motor control of her arms and legs. She was restless and couldn’t sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time. She was sleep deprived and unsettled. She had said that whenever I was around, she felt peace. We had had discussions about Jesus before. She had been raised in the church, christened and confirmed. I told her that it wasn’t the actions as much as the personal relationship with Christ. The peace she felt was Jesus through me. That particular morning I asked her if she had ever asked Jesus to be the Lord of her life. She said no but said it was something she wanted to do. I told her I would pray and she could repeat after me and if she disagreed or was confused about anything to just stop and we would discuss it. We prayed. We declared also that Satan had no power or place in that hospital room and in Jesus name had not authority to torment her. No giant smothering of peace seem to pour down at that moment but as I look back over those last two weeks, a slow release of fear and a more peaceful spirit emerged. A few days before she died, I told her that I loved her, I would miss her terribly but if Jesus, who was that presence of a complete peace, came and said come, that it was okay. After that though, Rita got her fight back. We knew the odds were not in her favor but I prayed and she fought. She started eating again and making progress with respiratory therapy. The doctor had written her off but Rita didn’t give up. The night she died, the nurse said she woke up and chatted with her and ate a lot of her pureed food and ice chips. In the early hours of the morning her lungs and heart started giving out. She went quickly and I feel with peace. The days preceding she seemed not to have anxiety or fear. I am grateful she didn’t have to suffer longer but I miss her deeply.

Her funeral was today. It was good to get to share the stories. How when she thought she was going to go to Johannesburg by ambulance she got all her make-up out and had to have a friend put it on before “going out”. Rita always wore bright red nail polish (“nail varnish” here) and had make up on and her gold jewelry when she went out. We even got permission to get them done in the hospital (except one finger had to be clear).

In her honor today I had my nails done (not bright red though) and wore make-up to the funeral. Rita loved wearing high heels (hated being in flats when she was recovering) and stylish sundresses. She loved to eat watermelon and lemon meringue pie. She hated liver and butternut and never drank alcohol. She loved animals to a fault. She had a HUGE heart and gave away her inheritance to those less fortunate. Rita was Radiant, Independent, Tender hearted and an Animal lover! I am blessed by having known her. Although I still have to work through God taking her so quickly, I am amazed that He knew that an older, feisty, totally opposite Afrikaans lady was just the answer to prayer that I needed. God is amazing! And if He was able to bring this depth of love into my life over such a short period of time, I’m sure He can handle the rest of my needs that lie ahead.

Love and hugs Rita! Looking forward to laughing with you for eternity!

The Road Ahead

The Journey 2014 is showing itself to be an interesting journey of discovery. The above collage gives a glimpse of my year thus far. As I have been seeking the Lord in intense study and prayer and through helping with other ministries (to be mentioned later) and individuals, He has continually showed me His love and power and passion. Even through obstacles, like my broken right wrist, He has shown me blessings and joy and an understanding of the enemy in using loneliness, isolation and inabilities to tear down people's hope. He has allowed me to be in the right place, at the right time to love on, encourage and become friends with others during their difficult times. I feel humbled to be used by God as I feel He is leading me to start my own ministry. It is not because I think other ministries are not bringing God glory. On the contrary, I long to plug into an existing ministry and add support. But each time I have sought out God's direction to connect long term with a ministry that I am currently helping, I feel He has said "no". Therefore, I ask that you diligently pray for me as I take the first steps toward starting a new NGO (not for profit organization) to be named GABRIEL ministries ...Bringing the message of God's love. (GABRIEL is an acronym  for Girls And Boys Receiving Instruction, Education & Love). The goal is to offer a safe home for orphaned, abandoned and/or at risk children in South Africa. It is the passion God has placed in my heart. The need is beyond what I can even imagine. GABRIEL's focus will seem to be a drop in the bucket of the large number in need. But my prayer is that it is the few that might otherwise fall through the cracks and not know the transforming power of God's love. I admit that I am naive at this point of what that actually will entail. But when I came to Africa, God told me to go without ever visiting because He told me "If I say it is okay, you don't need to go visit first." I've never regretted that decision. And so now, I am all in for this journey. I have no clue how it will unfold and I will probably mess up a lot of times on the way but I feel that God is saying to do it. I will trust God, like Gideon and so many examples in the Bible, that He will provide what is needed, when it is needed. For the present I am working on meeting with the local and area Dept. of Social Services and other support organizations to see what they feel the need is for the children in this area. It is hard to find an overview for the need in extended areas or to know which areas lack the most assistance, but I trust God will continue to shed light and show me where He wants me to start. I am also seeking out the administrative logistics of what I need to do to actually start an NGO. Step by step. I have stuttered in His presence long enough about the overwhelming task so this is my public acknowledgement that I am stepping out in faith and praying fervently that in my definite lack of ability and my weakness and fear that He is glorified. May I hold on to the verse God gave me when I arrived in Africa...Ephesians 3:20 "Now glory be to God! By His mighty power at work within us, He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope." Bomake "bow-mah-gay" (women) Retreat The bomake who cook and/or teach children at feeding sites in and around the Badplaas area were blessed with a retreat the first week of April. It was to give them a time of renewal and encouragement, to minister to them spiritually and physically and to teach them in a variety of areas. The picture above is when they were given a crocheted flower to share with someone else and to pledge to pray for each other. The picture below was the bomake learning how to teach through play. It was so much fun. The retreat was hosted by Emoyeni "Em-oi-yea-knee", in support with Children's Cup, Hands and Feet Ministries, Spark, and Swazi Serve. I had the privilege of assisting in logistics for the meals and getting to love on these amazing ladies, including dressing up more African (head wrapped) on one special evening of the retreat. Michael's Children's Village Besides working with Emoyeni, I have been working with Michael's Children's Village (a part of the International Iris Ministries). I have assisted with a few administrative tasks and I help weekly with watching the younger residents during staff meetings. These guys and gals (pictured above and on the right) are adorable, inspiring and of course full of energy and personalities. Jonny and Bex Gilling are missionaries from New Zealand and the directors of Michael's Children's Village. They are definitely a model of leadership and love for me to emulate. They have been an encouragement to me to seek God and let Him direct even if it means not coming and working alongside them. They are constantly saying that whatever God's plan is, that is what is best. Michael's Children's Village has given me exposure to what my passion looks like in the real world. The ups and downs of logistics in house parents, child behavioral issues, cultural sensitivity, handling personality conflicts, financial limitations and the prayerful hard calls of saying yes or no to new children are invaluable insight into the journey ahead. I am thankful that God has provided such divine and loving connections! Please pray for Michael's Children's Village and the children they are providing love and care for. Pray that God will work through GABRIEL ministry just as powerfully. Thank you! Possible Logo After doing something that hurt the other, these precious boys at Michael's Children's Village were asked to give each other some love. A lesson we could all benefit from. Emoyeni "Em-oi-yea-knee" (Siswati for in the Spirit), is one of the ministries I have been assisting with since the beginning of the year. They work with pastors and communities throughout the Badplaas and surrounding areas. God's love oozes from their heart with a passion that is humble and pure. They are raising up Christians who are foundationally strong and with a heart to serve. I have mainly been helping administratively but sometimes get to go out and love on children and encourage the bomake and help with logistics of the retreat and teams. My new friend Rita We met at the gym in water aerobics and we would get together weekly since neither of us have family around.  Then after she broke her right femur and I had the schedule flexibility with no spouse/children to care for and no large ministry commitments, we have spent a lot of time together. As you can see we make each other laugh. With her broken leg and my broken wrist we have made quite a team. Please pray for Rita's complete recovery and for her to know God in a more intimate relationship.

God In My Waiting

Last Sunday's sermon was so on target that I have to share it!

It is has been hard having such peace about my separation from Children's Cup and a sense that God has a different plan for my future and then finishing March without a clear sense of what that is. It is difficult to not have "the answers" when friends give sacrificially for me to stay here.

Although I am focusing on my relationship with God more fervently in study, in prayer and simply in His presence, I am not totally idle. But I also don't feel any of the work I am doing is "the work" He has for me in the long term. It has been frustrating for me. Satan has a way of whispering words of doubt and fear and isolation during these times. I am so thankful that God keeps speaking truth into me in my waiting.

I hope you can read my left handed writing. I am slow at it but I think except for some of the verses it is legible and easier than typing it all out one handed. :) (Message me if you can't read it.)

May this bless those of you who are also at a "pause" in your life that God Is in Your Waiting too!

I am so thankful for a God who never forsakes me and loves me so much that He tarries for my benefit!

I am truly blessed!

SOLD

It has been 10 years since I bought it and 6 1/2 years since I lived in it. It has weathered the bottom falling out of the market and years of renters. It was my dream house....was. God has always provided and has made sure it was never a burden financially. But He is my dream and He is truly enough, no matter where I rest my head. I say goodbye today to being a home owner in the states. I smile as I think of how He has made me comfortable in going from my own 3 bedroom home to renting a three bedroom one in Africa filled with short and long term missionaries, to a back yard two bedroom cottage, to my current one room efficiency. Someone once told me God never wants you to go backwards and they took that to mean He would always wanted them to live in a better place than they lived before. Yet He has shown me I need less of "stuff" and more of Him. I am living better, just not bigger.

When I bought this house, which at the time reflected God’s providential hand in it, I never would have imagined being where I am today! It closed today in God's timing. It had bounced back where it paid off what was owed and again is leaving me unburdened. I tend to look forward and rarely am reflective of the past but this has given me that opportunity to see how I have changed. I still am far from being selfless but hopefully I am a little more Christ centered and a little less me centered. When I was so down last weekend, lower than I ever remember being since I moved to Africa. It wasn't where I was that brought me comfort but through friends, prayers and Scriptures (Psalm 34:17-19; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:7 and Isaiah 41:13) it was my Lord who held me and comforted me and let me know how much He loves me! 

He has great plans ahead! And I will be privileged to be a part of them. But in this time of transition, where He has now slowed me done to a crawl, it is not about what I "do" (He actually doesn't need me). It is realizing He loves me more than anything! My dream is to rest in Him so much that all that will matter is that I am loved and cherished because He is my Father. 

I enjoy the memories of my house in GA. I love the smile it brings to my face even as I look at this photo. But I know that as I settle in my Father's house, and can honestly be okay with "doing" nothing but seek Him for a season, I will stop flailing like a drowning person fighting off their rescuer. I will smile and be at peace with the unknown. I will trust the one who holds me by the right hand (so poetic that that is the one that I feel is broken and useless). I will listen to Yahweh who knows my heart's cry. I will rest because His grace is sufficient. Abiding in my Father is my new dream home!

Some are reading this and saying "Whatever! It is a bunch of flowery religious jibber jabber." "I'm glad it makes you feel better, Sandy." That is not the purpose. As I share I risk sounding crazy, or holier than thou or disillusioned. But God is real! He does love us enough to send His only Son to die for us! To be the sacrifice that ends the need for sacrifices. To fulfill what the Passover foretold. And there is not a one of us that is excluded from His love! Not one! I pray that if you read this, and don't know His love personally that you will take the time to read (or reread) the gospel of John or Luke and ask God "If you are really out there, and if you really love me, then open my eyes and heart and show me." May you fully realize how much He loves YOU!

"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15 

This Wasn't How I Planned It God!

It hurts! I'm tired of the pain! I'm tired of what the pain meds do to me. I'm tired of the frustration of trying to do things with my left hand! I want someone else to handle things, take care of me, stop the feeling of loneliness and isolation!!! It hurts and I'm sad and mad and lost in it! People send money to support me and I feel I am letting them down. Not doing my job. That I'm not doing anything really.This isn't how I planned this year to be! All I seem good at is throwing a big pity party!

See why missionaries should not be put on a pedestal? I am a big wimp!!! I give in to SELF! I still want it to be all about me. I'm disliking what I am seeing when I am being squeezed!

If I look at this same time frame (this past week), sue I broke mt right wrist but another has lost a husband and the father of her babies! I can't even imagine her pain. Someone else with far less of a support system than I is finding she needs to find a new home that will allow her to keep the dogs who are like family to her and figure how to coordinate having to have hip replacement surgery while moving and caring for her dogs. There is also a strong man of God who I just found out has been watching his daughter suffer chronic debilitating pain and the doctors have no answers and God has not chosen to heal her.

So why do I think I have the right to whine? Why do I think God is not big enough to bring me through this? He loves me so much!!! This is all but a blink of an eye! His plan for my life goes so beyond this segment! When I look back will I have let this change me for the better? Will I know my "daddy" more intimately as I let Him hold and rock me instead of relying on someone else? Will I have more compassion for others in pain? Who are depressed and discouraged? Will I become better equipped to expose the lies of the enemy that say I am pathetic, weak, useless and a failure? Will I be better at focusing on the truth that God loves me beyond all of that and regardless of how I or others view me? His love isn't because of my faith or my works. He just loves me! And though it may sound paradoxical, through the pain and struggles I feel His love more personally.

Please know that I did not write this for you to tell me how great I am for "doing God's work in Africa". I didn't type this for you to wish that I was with you or you with me so you could care for me. My purpose was to help me refocus my pity. To help me think more like Philippians 4:8. To help ooze the love of God when I am squeezed. Psalm 112:4

May I focus on my blessings in my pain. We all have pain in one form or another so I can stop thinking that I suffer alone. May I learn to use my pain to love others and myself better because of the love of our Father for us! He has not caused my pain but He can transform it into a blessing. Maybe not in this instant, maybe not in the way I would choose but in the big picture of my life. Psalm 50:15

Have a great day! I know mine is already more blessed (and less painful!) as my focus is starting to shift.

Green Pastures and Deep Waters

This was just going to be a FaceBook post but it kept expanding. It is the hazard of being alone so much, when you start talking, even on paper you just bubble (or babble) over with things your heart has been yearning to say.

A stranger at the time, but a sister in Christ, gave me a word that I was in a season of lush green pastures and deep rivers. Sounds perfect for sheep . . . plenty of food to eat and water to quench your thirst and grass not rocks to lay down and rest. So many have told me that they wish they were able to be in that place. True, everyone needs to make time to recharge and to rest but what do you do after you are rested?

Now don't get me wrong, I am using my down time to dive into the Word, to be a prayer warrior, and to drink from those deep waters and soak it all in. That is on good days. On bad days, my flesh is constantly battling with words of condemnation, "Who do you think you are?"; "You are lazy!", "What are you really doing for God now.... for the Kingdom?"; "So you think you are some goody two shoes now, holier than thou?"; "You are just wasting time!". You see the down side of the lush green pastures is the mass of bugs that bite you or the slippery moss in those deep streams that cause you to fall. My faults, my barriers to God and my demons that I have let get a hold of areas of my life come into focus. I have a choice to grow, wrestle and let God have the victory or roll over and cry myself to sleep listening to the words of discouragement and a sense of futility. I've done both.

It is easier to ignore the rough spots when I have work or other activities to do. It is harder sometimes to be still and take the hard look at myself. But what Satan means to curse you, although painful, God can turn into a blessing! I am changing. God is changing me. It is not very comfortable place to be. I knew the old self and was comfortable with my quirks, my stumbling blocks. Some which I have had to wrestle with I will not share out loud. But others you all were able to see, yet I tried to justify and now my eyes are being opened. I was harsh when I became stressed and trying to make things "perfect". Those that knew me would extend grace but those who this was their first exposure of me cringed or were afraid. I was gifted with an ability to look at the other side of issues but often shared that insight too much. I could be pushy, overbearing or at the least irritating to others. I have self doubt. I lack confidence. Not that my exterior was phony. I could step up to the plate and do what needed to be done in a given situation, but in the stillness I question every decision I made or action I had taken. I am rarely offended but I let the enemy lure me onto walking on eggshells so as not to be an offense to others. Translated I guess I had fallen into the trap about "worrying" about offending others. And I hate worry! I have won the battle in so many areas against worry but in these still pastures, sure enough I realized there was worry that I had overlooked.

I'm not quite sure why I wrote this but I guess I needed to tell myself that I am not lazy, there is progress going on even if no one else sees it. And I guess I need to remember this experience down the road. This is not a respite because I am worthy of needing a break or because I had "hit the wall". This time does not fit into a nice little box and is all planned out. I do, more and more, feel it is ordained by God. I don't know quite why yet but I will trust that He has a purpose. I will continue to dive into His Word, memorize and be more of a prayer warrior and just learn to enjoy time with my Daddy. But I will also continue to allow for Him to expose the real me more, and for me to know me more and (because I feel the need to blog) for you to know me more. Hopefully my need to share will speak to where you need to share with Him.

I love what was shared in church on Sunday, I'm not a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, I am a butterfly, just in a different form. I feel like I am currently in the cocoon. I am trusting God to orchestrate when it will be time to emerge. Thank you if you read this. Pray for me. Know that God is preparing things for the future here and evidently, part of that, is to prepare me. May He get all the glory!

What Am I Doing?

Good question. It is one I often ask myself. Last September/October when I helped with a team in Swaziland I was challenged to ask God to take my relationship with Him up a notch. One of  the men on the team shared that when he asked God to do that, God told him to take the time he would be watching his favorite football team play on TV and spend it with Him instead. Isn't God great in how He challenges each of us in areas that get to the heart of our issues.

"Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done." Colossians 2:7

So what did God do when I asked Him to put me "all in"? He rocked my world and turned my ministry identity upside down, literally. He took away what I "do". He then started tearing down my perceptions. My perception of what I should be "doing" in ministry. My need to plan what I would "do" next. And now my perception that I have to be "doing" something right now. Okay, everything, even breathing is something but you know what I mean. Doing the things I can show tangibly to those around me and those who support me. Things like playing and loving on kids, or helping the bomake "bow-mah-gay" (cooks), or encouraging the facilitators. Things that show I am making progress for the Kingdom. Things that show I am of worth. But God so gently showied me that sometimes what I "did" only scratched the surface. There is more to the Kingdom that I was missing. More to relationships than I was allowing. So for now, God has pulled back on the reigns and put me out in the pasture for awhile. I am not idle. I am helping administratively with a fellow ministry as needed but it is slow and I feel I am to seek God during my "down" time rather than look for more tasks.

"My thoughts are completely different from yours, says the Lord. And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than you thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Someone gave me a word recently that said that God was pulling back the bow and that I am the arrow. To me its seem like I am suppose to be in a season of preparation for what is ahead. I'm not quite sure exactly where the target is but I am surprisingly, remarkably, (totally out of my past character), at peace with the uncertainty and "lack of a plan". Instead I feel like a sponge wanting to soak up as much of God as possible as He pulls me back. I have a deep thirst on so many levels. God, as my daddy or papa, is addressing issues I have unknowingly buried deep and that have kept me hindered in ministering deeper and in being ministered to. I am also learning about Jesus my bridegroom and the moving of the Holy Spirit in new ways. I am excited to read more, pray more, study the Bible more, memorize more, discuss what I am learning and just enjoy God more. 

One of the things that might sound strange is taking a weekly hike in a nearby beautiful area. I'm setting aside time to "stop and smell the roses" and thank God for blessing me in so many ways. I'm asking Him to help prepare me, grow me, humble me and use me. Through this and other things I feel I am bubbling over with things I want to share. Like how God challenged me to stop condemning a panhandler under my breath every time I was driving past her at the intersection and to find out her name. This led me to chat with her, take her to lunch, pray for her and now wave and sometimes share with her as I go by. Or when I actually petted a wild horse on my hike I felt God was sending me an unexpected friend a special touch of His presence. Or in reading a book where God stirred in me ways to look at and handle situations of conflict with love that honors the person and their relationship with me and with God over feeling that a wrong has to be righted. Or exposing an old deep wound of rejection and the root of my desire for approval. Through the tears being sincerely okay with letting God, my daddy, love me despite my shortcomings, despite my abilities or lack of abilities. I felt His love, beyond my head knowledge, through the walls I have built to hide my feelings, to the deep recesses of my soul.

"Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting in You. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer." Psalm 143:8

   

Some of you might see me as "lazy" right now and others might see me as becoming hyper "religious" but my heart is that instead you see God changing me and molding me. Most of us wish that we could have this season, not of uncertainty but of rest. I know I always hated the hectic pace that I let myself fall into. 

I don't know how long this season will last. I don't know if my life will become fast and furious again. So for now I plan to make the most of it. Whether it ends tomorrow or lingers longer than I think I have the patience to endure, I want to come out of it knowing God deeper. When my arrow shoots I want to know that I love Him more and I realize more of the depth of His love for me. I want to have a humble, submissive and trusting heart that is obedient to whatever God has for me, even if it is something that is beyond what I feel I can "do". I want my future "to do" list to be God appointments where He works through me rather than me trying to direct the path! 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank you for reading this. For supporting me. For praying for me about my present season and about the future plans God has for me. If you have a need and want someone to pray for you in your  current season or someone to share your hopes or struggles, then please comment or message me I would love to be there for you. God is so awesome!