Lessons learned

Someone asked if I really liked being an African missionary or was I just saying it. I have to say I honestly love it here! God is growing me in many ways. I promised to process my lessons learned from Pepe so let me pause to reflect.
1) I learned not to become overwelmed by the whole but focus on what I can do for the one. There are so many sick children in Africa that suffer from malnutrition, aids, TB and other diseases.
Can we take in every child? No.
Did we need to take in Pepe and Mfana? Yes.
2) I am to listen to God and move when He says go forth. When I took Pepe in, the father had not "signed away his rights" officially. I was asked if she died in my care would Children's Cup be liable. I said yes but had a great peace that He was in it and it would be okay. I am confident I had reached out with God's direction not out of my own desire to be this child's rescuer. That's a good feeling when you can look back and actually know that for once you were able to stand aside and let God use you.
3) I don't have to have all the answers. My rational side could have had a field day with the "what ifs". I had no idea how long I would have Pepe, how to communicate with her, how sick she would be or how we would get along. It didn't matter. God worked it all out, at the moment it was needed, rarely before. He knew the answers and it was a blessing to rest in that and let Him worry about the answers.
4) I need to listen better. Yes, Siswati is full of clicks and strange sounds and sometimes Pepe would say some Siswati or ask for a food that I'm not familiar with "emasi" (sour milk) but the hysterical thing was that not once, not twice but 3 times I assumed she was saying something in Siswati and I would call a coworker to translate and it turned out Pepe was speaking English!! It was quite comical and became the running joke if I called Zinty to translate, Pepe would be speaking English not Siswati.
5) I do have a soft side. For those of you who know me well, you know I hardly ever shed a tear. I have realized for a long time that God wanted me to feel my emotions in a deeper way. I have known it and been working on it but last Thursday morning I sat at Baylor clinic holding a sick child who was at her lowest physical point since she had been with me. I thought she might be running a fever (she wasn't). She was lethargic and slept the whole time we sat waiting for the doctors where other days she had sat waiting with anxiety, alert and never dosing. I had fought so hard to keep her out of the hospital but that day I didn't know if that was what was best for her. I had told God that if her weight was down for the 4th day in a row that I would not argue if the doctors wanted to admit her. I sat there rocking her and praying. I realized God was using her to help me "feel". Many of you are already in tears when you read this but not I. I prayed God would help me "feel" but not at Pepe's expense or suffering. I knew, because of her fear of the hospital that I would break down if she had to be admitted but I didn't want her to have to be admitted for me to shed tears. As I sat there I prayed that God would help me take down my walls around my emotions without allowing suffering in others, I felt some of the bricks fall. I still haven't had a melt down or a big cry but I am becoming aware and better able to recognize and feel emotional pain rather than conceal it. (She did not have to be admitted.)
6) God is in control and does a better job than I. A week before we had been clueless as to where these two children could stay permanently, then last Friday we found a Methodist church run group home here in town. I had reached the point of feeling overwelmed and tired. How could I care properly for this child over the long haul. She needed to be with other Swazi children and in her own environment, not with a white lady who cared but whose culture confused Pepe. The group home has room for 2 children with this "Make" (Mah-gay) or mother. They are holding Mfana's spot for when he gets out of the hospital. They have children that range from 5 to 18. They have cared for children who were as sick as Pepe and Mfana and those children are now in school. They have several children that came from our Fonteyn CarePoint when parents had been unable to care for them and those children are now doing well and thriving. It is probably the closest facility to Teresa's and my home and will be easy to keep in touch with Pepe and Mfana. Isn't God good??? Beyond what we ever imagine.
7) I am excited about the future! I have no clue what my future holds and remarkably that's okay. I don't have a 5 year plan and it doesn't bother me. I feel I'm on a roller coaster ride that will have twists and turns and be beyond what I could ever imagine!! Exciting, and fun and meaningful if I continue to move aside and be God's vessel.
A quote from my bible study about what God desires: "I delight in a heart that welcomes My work rather than resents it. A willing, teachable spirit is all I'm looking for. A life so surrendered to me, I can do My work unhindered." May I have have that teachable, surrendered spirit!!!

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wonderously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong! By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward -- to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message Translation)

Pepe

Sorry for the long break in posting my blog. The last 10 days I have had to put on my "mothering" hat. Long story short, we had to have emergency care for a 11 year old girl named Pepe. She will be 12 in May. She was very sick and needed special attention. Her brother, Mfana was admitted to the hospital but they did not admit her which was good in that she is very afraid of them. We could not find a Swazi home on such short notice, so I became her caretaker for a brief time. She was very sick and weighed only 17 kg (37 lbs). She wears a size 5-6. She looks good but is on so much medication and had pnemonia that it was hard for her to keep in food down. Since I am the only missionary who is a mother but without children at home, I was the perfect person to get the opportunity to care for Pepe. I feel for the father who just was unable to care for them and had reached a point of giving up. Pepe and Mfana lost their mother several years ago and their aunt 1 1/2 years ago to Aids. It was a roller coaster of ups and downs all week as we sat at the doctor's clinic most mornings and got antibiotic injections to keep her out of the hospital and had to take so many meds, I had to write it down on a schedule. Pepe is a trooper at taking her meds though; as you can see in the photo. She's a pro!!! I don't think my grown sons could swallow all the pills she has to take. She has an adorable smile but often when we tried to take pictures she was not feeling up to showing her smile. She would smile and light up when we showed them to her. The tux shirt was mine (okay Michael's) that she used for a night shirt. The pink is a new outfit she picked out including shoes. (Girls are still girls even in Swaziland and she wanted to be sure to get matching shoes with her new outfit!!)

Pepe has been active at the Kakhoza ("Ga-ko-zah") CarePoint, also known as Gigi's Place, since Children's Cup began working there 4 years ago. Teresa, our nurse, has been seeing her the 2 1/2 years she has been here. Pepe has had a long struggle including a month in the hospital last year. Her brother, Mfana only recently became extremely ill. He had been going to school the first 2 terms last year (there are 3 terms in the school year here) until he became ill. Pepe completed the CarePoint school but has never had the strength to attend the government school. She is very bright. She speaks a little English and I speak very little Siswati. An interesting combination. She talks little but then she would blurt out something and shock me several times with an English phrase -- "Let's go home", "Go to sleep", "mayonaise" (still haven't figured out how she knew that), and "cooked egg not fried" (meaning she wanted a hard boiled egg). I learned that "chips" are french fries and "emasi" is like buttermilk and she loves it. She loves grapes but peels them like they were litches (a grape like fruit that is bigger and has a rough covering). It has been an interesting week. I feel for every working single mother!!! When she was being watched by others she would cry for Auntie Sandra but then when I spent the day with her she would cry for Auntie Teresa. I don't think I would have been able to care for both Pepe and her brother at the same time so I feel for the struggle their father must have had.

Update, Pepe had a good weekend. Her appetite has increased and although it doesn't always stay down, more of it is. We found a group home for her that is actually very close by and took her there today. It was hard. They will take her brother when he gets out of the hospital. When we visited him at the hospital on Sunday, Mfana had a good appetite and was even able to walk us out when we left. He would have never been able to do that a week ago.

As I process all that has happened, I will blog the spiritual journey God has been growing in me this past 10 days. Pray for Pepe and Mfana for their continued renewed strength, adjustment to their new home and that they grow up to become all God has for them to be!!!

Dad's Home!

Thank you for your prayers! My dad came home from the hospital yesterday!! Yea! He went in for his kidney transplant Jan. 5th so he was glad to finally get to sleep in his own bed. Kidney is working great! Welcome home dad!!!

They're back! :)

My monkey friends have been back! They always put a smile on my face when they come by. My friend Christy has named them the Popos family. She lives around the corner and they have visited her as well. Check out her blog, her link is on mine. The house diagonally behind mine has a banana tree with some green bananas they have been nibbling on. They have also been on my fence. One was on the front gate as I was leaving, didn't have my camera for that shot. Enjoy the pics. There are 2 in the tree in the left photo above, can you find them?

Update on my dad: Dad is progressing. He is still in the hospital but doing better. He had a heart cath. that said his heart is functioning well and the blood flow to it is well. His fluid level is down, which makes his blood pressure more stable. It looks like the new kidney has been able to get caught up with it's new body. Keep him in your prayers as he progresses. It's been a rollercoaster ride for him and my mom. He's now been in the hospital for 2 weeks and wants to get home. Thank you for all your support.

The Lion King

Quick update: My dad ws improving and was out of ICU but is having trouble breathing this morning and might have to go back to ICU. He might be throwing clots into his lungs. He is calm and is on oxygen but is level headed and concious, just having to struggle to breathe. Thank you for your prayers. Thanks to some Christmas money I was able to go with some girls (they let the "old lady" join them) - Zinty, Jacci and Gabby (I have mentioned before) and Kimber and Julia who work with the Southern Baptist Mission Board to Joburg to see the Lion King on stage. What better place to see The Lion King than in Africa with a South African cast!!! I drove one of the two vehicles through the border and into South Africa and to Johannesburg. No problems, stayed on the left side of the road and made it to a restroom when needed and did not have to make any stops to use nature's latrine! I'm so proud of myself.

Anyway, it was FANTASTIC!!! The creativity involved in the costumes, the special effects, the stage design, choreography and lighting was AWESOME!!! If it ever comes to your area or you are in New York you have got to see it!!!! Even guys would love it. My favorite character was Zazu. The puppeteer and the bird were one and interacted so well you forgot that there was a person attached to Zazu. They don't let you take photos so these are stock from the web site but they do not do the play justice.

Update on My Dad!

Dad had a good day today (St. Louis time, it's already Wed AM here). He still has the vent in but hopes to get it out Wed. AM there. He had a minor episode this afternoon but otherwise has remained stable with his BP & 02 levels all day. They think the setback might have been an allergic reaction to the mega anti rejection drugs they gave him right after surgery. They usually give 3 mega doses after surgery and they had given him 2 doses when he had his setback so they will probably not give the 3rd. Otherwise he is alert & writing (can't talk with the vent) and was shocked that my brother had flown in. Thank you for your prayers. Our hope is that he moves out of ICU on Wed. and gets to go home by Sunday.

Major Setback!

Please continue to keep my dad in your prayers. He was doing great yesterday and then at dinner time last night his oxygen level dropped and his blood pressure became irractic. They ended up having to sedate and intubate him. He is in ICU, stable but sedated this morning and with the vent in. They are not sure at this point what happened and may never know. They have run a lot of tests. That's all I know at this point. It's hard having such limited communication and being so many miles away. This is where my faith meets the pavement. I know God called me here and that means I have to trust Him to be with my dad and to supply my dad's needs. I pray my dad will lean on the Lord as much as I do. May the Lord bless my dad and keep him. May the Lord make His face shine upon my dad and be gracious to him. May the Lord turn His face toward my dad and give him peace admist the storm he is struggling through. Thank you for your support and prayers!